KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES

Patient: Jones Snowboard

Diagnosis: This guy is popular because he's light, but the reason he's light is that he's got a paper thin base and pretty weak constitution.

Treatment: A patch will fix this but the job is complicated because of the DIY repair that seems to be a home-brew of p-tex wax and maybe toilet paper (??!) DIY hint: don't wax gouges.

Prognosis: Full recovery expected for board, technician will be okay after a few deep breaths....